Artistic achievement and connections through art as conversation

I asked my MFA advisor what I could do now to prepare for the course in a couple of months, and she suggested I think about:

What do I want to achieve, artistically?


I suspect that's a question that's going to take more than a blog entry or a whole blog or even a 2-year-MFA to answer. But at least I can start somewhere.

Something that had been on my mind a lot even before this MFA came to be (but especially because of it) was who the focus of my work should be - me or other people?

I feel like no matter what field or form I'm in, there's always something I'm experiencing because of my race, gender, sexuality, some other identity issue, and a large part of my journey has involved trying to navigate through the peculiar obstacles in my way. A lot of my life's work really has been about carving a space for someone like me to be accepted - and that work has involved examining structures and institutions where these spaces would sit, changing and fighting and rebuilding. Bandaid fixes can only go for so long before it's the same problem over and over.

At the same time, I've been nagged for a while by the sense of not really having much fun and frivolity, not feeling like I could do something just because I wanted to without having a greater purpose attached to it. I don't know how much is internal and how much is the result of sentiments by family & society, but I've felt this notion that if my work isn't for some sort of Higher Purpose or Saves The World or something along those lines, it's selfish and pointless and self-indulgent. (Because art wasn't self-indulgent already!)

But sometimes I do want to be "selfish" and "self-indulgent". Sometimes I do want to be able to explore some silly idea I had or crack a joke or be totally random, without making it a Big Grand Sophisticated Statement.

The approach has been successful at surprising times. For instance, one of my acts, Teenage Fangirl, recreates a couple of experiences I've had as a teenager being a major fan of Savage Garden. Even the original poster I am caught in bed with by my mum (true story) features in the piece. It's all fluff and silliness; there's no artistic statement about teenage attitudes or the relationship between listener & musician or whatever. A few funny things happened in my life and I made a burlesque piece about it.

That piece garnered strong connections. People were coming up to me telling me about their teenage fandoms. They revisited lovely memories of the past and allowed me into their stories & histories, a part of them that doesn't get explored very often. My piece was a conversation starter - people heard my story and continued the conversation on with theirs.

Those moments are often my favourites, sometimes moreso than the actual performance. I love hearing how people relate to my work; it helps me feel that somewhere, someone's connecting to what I do. I have a hard time declaring statements like "I am a strong writer!" or "I am a great performer!" or whatever because of this: I define "strong" or "great" in art as the ability to resonate and connect with others, and who am I to decide that the piece is resonant if other people don't let me know?

(A while ago I posted the video to Teenage Fangirl on Darren Hayes's Facebook page, and he responded with "Hilarious!". I just about screamed my head off. Talk about validation!)

I have heard and read from various artists and creators that often one of the best ways to be resonant and connect with people through your work is to be specific about your experiences. It sounds like an oxymoron - how does someone who is not a queer poly South Asian female migrant type ever relate to anything I have to say about life? We would have gone through such different life situations that our paradigms would be vastly different.

At the same time, the artists whose work I have long admired and connected with often came from very different backgrounds (see: Darren Hayes, White Australian man of working class stock, as an example) but it was their heartfelt, earnest, sincere nature in their work and in their lives that connected me with them. They would be singing, writing, saying, performing about the essence of their life experience, the core of the events and experiences they had to deal with, without artifice or irony - and through there allowed people like me to find something to resonate with. (It's spooky how some of his songs predict my life sometimes, but he did have a 13-year head start.)

They started the conversation and allowed us a voice.
As James Joyce (as quoted by James Victore) said, "in the particular lies the universal.".

My challenge intention (thanks Pat B. Allen) for the MFA - and beyond - is to find a good balance between being true to my heart's desires and expressions, and providing space for others to be witnessed and celebrated as I wish for myself. I will need to work out how not to get to the point of resentment because I have put other people's wishes before mine, nor find myself in an echo chamber where no one else can connect with what I do. To turn that last statement into a positive intention: I find balance, connection, and conversations through sharing my stories, inspirations, and ideas with others who contribute their resonance, witness, and conversation in response, supporting each other strong.